I'm a cyborg, but that's okay

As an ex Shadow Run player, I am happy to say that there is at least 5% cyberware in my body. 14 different screws hold my ankle together. As an dancing loving, super-fast-running-cycling-and-jumping around person, I feel disabled. The mind is a very tricky thing. I think, I can do stuff, I want to do stuff and I am really trying to do stuff, but my body just doesn't let me. This has nothing to do with overestimating myself, but rather me not knowing how to deal with a serious injury like this. Serious, you say? I know, I'm neither terminally ill nor do I have a serious condition, but getting you leg cut open, put a lot of screws in it and sown up with lots of stitches is also nothing that heals in one day. I have to learn patience.

And this is where it gets tricky. I am very fortunate to be able to work from home, so I have some distraction during the day. I get a lot of friends visiting, a cat that loves to play on my bed and the best room mates you can wish for. I enjoy my time at home. It's the perfect excuse to watch the-movie-i-always-wanted-to-see-but-never-found-time-for-it and read a book or just do random stuff on my computer. But then the Blues hit me last weekend. Aaaah, I wanted to get out, I wanted to meet up with friends, I wanted to drop by a friend's place or just chill in the nearby park. I love my flat and I love staying at home, because I feel comfortable. But I also love COMING home. Being limited to my bed, the toilet and the kitchen and knowing even if you want to simply CANNOT get very far, was really getting on my mind. But then I realised, I can do about 250m on crutches before it starts getting uncomfortable. I can carry around stuff, because I always have a bag with me - not including cups with liquid in it or plates with food. I can use crutches to pull stuff closer or push away. I can do a spin to put something from A to B. I can balance on one foot, wrap my broken foot around the laundry stand and put up laundry. And I can ask people to do stuff for me and people in general are super helpful.

There are good days and there are bad days, but generally speaking this whole thing has taught me a lot. Not just about how to deal with myself in situations like this, accepting help or learning about the generosity of people. It is a healing process, I rediscover my body, but almost most importantly I learned that there will always be a way. You must be creative. It may take more time and won't look as smooth as usual. That put into the context of being a nomad, I will start the adventure of traveling to the south of Germany. I will do this in two different ways and am very excited, how it will all work out. So far, I have to put a lot more thought into preparation and cannot be as flexible as usual, so we will see how enjoyable, comfortable and "adventurous" this trip will be.